Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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