I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
