Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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