I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize