It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Life is so much better after having sex.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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