Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
