I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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