He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
