just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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