You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
