dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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