nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
