she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
