First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize