She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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