Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
handjob tips. give me some.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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