do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
