Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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