you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
