Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
