maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
