I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Two words: nipple clamps
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