If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
