Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
