we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
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and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
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Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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