just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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