time to smoke my breakfast
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
