Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
