how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
