Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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