apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
