how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
