i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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