If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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