I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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