How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
