are you still at the devil's house?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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