She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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