when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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