At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
