i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
