just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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