My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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