so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
