Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Pappa wants mamma naked

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(360): View more from Washington

The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.

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(740): View more from Ohio

he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?

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(904): View more from Florida

the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

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(812): View more from Indiana

My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.

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(443): View more from Maryland

they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them

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(212): View more from New York

so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.

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