at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
