I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
