i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
