How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
