hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
