All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
