Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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