The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
