I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
