I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
