but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
