somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
